Spontaneity Shmontaneity

Last week, my college pastor brought up a really interesting point in our discipleship class. He began by talking about the way our culture glorifies spontaneity.

Not that all spontaneity is bad - not in the least, in fact, it can be very good. He proceeded to pose to the females in the class two scenarios and asked us which we'd prefer and why.

Scenario 1: You are at home working diligently on homework and your boyfriend is driving to his place after classes. On the way, he is thinking about you and decides he is just so enamored that he stops by the grocery store, buys a bouquet of flowers, your favorite candy, and your favorite soda. He surprises you and shows up at your doorstep with the gifts.

Scenario 2: Looks on the outside precisely like scenario one except a few details. When he gets to your house and gives you the gifts, he leaves the room and you notice his dayplanner sitting on the table. Nosy girl that you are, you flip it open to today to see what else he's going to do the rest of the night, and see marked in, "Flowers to ____" (insert your name). You flip to the next week and see the same thing marked in on the same day. You see it marked in all the days following.


Many women in our society would choose the first one, I think. Without a hesitation I would take number 2. I don't say that because it's the "right" answer, but rather because I really firmly believe that you can love someone just as passionately without being completely spontaneous all the time.

In fact, I think it almost shows more care and is a better foundation for a future relationship when a man is actively battling his tendency to forget to show his love.

All that said, we ARE bombarded with concepts from our culture that are hard to get over. Add to that that it would be ridiculous to label spontaneity as a bad thing, because it's wonderful too. I wouldn't reject either scenario. But I also wouldn't glorify the first.

Just my thoughts on the matter.