I find it odd that it is possible to be learning to trust and rely on God to work out every detail of your future... and yet still struggle as much as I do with feeling lonely and worried that there is something wrong with me and whether I shall stay single for life.

Twenty isn't old, I know. But at this point in my mother's life, she was engaged to be married (or nearly so...) and there is nothing on my horizon.

And to be downright honest, sometimes it's hard to focus on Jesus and see that the Father will provide exactly what I need throughout my life, no matter what that need looks like. But He will, He promises that He will. So I must try to be honest with myself while looking at the world through an eternal lens, not a temporal lens.

The life of a follower of Christ is never easy, but will be a conflict-filled life until I shed this body and go heavenward.

Here is a hymn I ran across tonight that voiced my longing well. It is by Isaac Watts:

A vision of the kingdom of Christ among men. Rev. 21:1-4.


Lo! what a glorious sight appears

To our believing eyes!

The earth and sea are passed away,

And the old rolling skies.



From the third heav'n, where God resides,

That holy, happy place,

The new Jerusalem comes down,

Adorned with shining grace.



Attending angels shout for joy,

And the bright armies sing-

"Mortals, behold the sacred seat

Of your descending King.



"The God of glory down to men

Removes his blest abode;

Men, the dear objects of his grace,

And he the loving God.



"His own soft hand shall wipe the tears

From every weeping eye,

And pains, and groans, and griefs, and fears,

And death itself, shall die."



How long, dear Savior! O how long

Shall this bright hour delay?

Fly swifter round, ye wheels of time,

And bring the welcome day.