I am so ashamed of myself. I am a sinful fool, and I felt it most keenly this afternoon. Here's what happened:

I spent time last night and this morning praying that the Lord would present an obvious opportunity to share His love and Word with someone who didn't know Him. I often forget to watch for chances to do that, but resolved that I would be diligent about it today, and prayed for His strength.
I took lunch outside at the park on the waterfront this afternoon. Sitting there on the rocky shore, I was absolutely absorbed in my book (Charleston by John Jakes... fantastic historical fiction, if you're interested in history made personal). So absorbed was I that I didn't hear the man come up behind me. Now, you must realize that this isn't the BEST part of town in Seattle, there are many homeless men and women loitering around this park, but there are always enough people around during the day that I feel perfectly safe going there alone. I am always, though, very wary of strangers, particularly men, and I have spent much thought this summer about my attitude toward the homeless and people in poverty. They make me uncomfortable because strangers in general make me uncomfortable. But I always feel like they must despise me for having what I do have. I don't know. It's hard to explain, and I am still working on finding a balance between being a careful, conscientious woman, and a tender, loving woman who reaches out to those around her.

Anyways, so I head a voice behind me inquiring "Is that a good book?" I sort of jump, not expecting to hear myself being addressed. I was so disoriented and even confused and startled that I just looked at him and said, "Yeah, it's a pretty good book," and he goes, "Oh, I was just wondering, because I have always wanted to learn more about God."

The weirdest part of the story is that 1) My book wasn't about God in the LEAST and 2) The man could not even see the cover, as that part was facing my lap.

All I did was murmur, "No, oh, this book isn't about God." And then he said, "okay" and he walked off!!!!

I'm so ashamed. Could an opportunity have been any clearer than it was? Could I have missed something more obvious? GAH. I'm so.... human. Why am I so afraid of everything? This man quite possibly is going to hell, and I didn't do a thing about it, even when he asked. There would have been no better kind of person to randomly ask about the Lord than I am~ a child of the King Himself. At least I know now to pray for this Kingdom-seeker.

I don't deserve that adoption.

Which is another thing I was meditating on last night. I am studying Ephesians right now in an effort to kick my butt in gear. I'm not particularly fond of who I am right now, and the best way to remedy that is to immerse myself in the Word, I think.

Ephesians 1:5 says "In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will." (How's that for some pretty darn clear Reformed theology? haha, anyways...)

When one adopts a child, it is so important to treat them just as their own blood-children. If that doesn't happen, many troubles may result, and dissatisfaction on the part of the parents and child will abound.
Christ Jesus is the oldest and only actual Son of God. But just as adopted children BECOME the children of the parent legally and practically, so are we invited to be part of the Father's family.

*Romans 8:29 "For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he may be the firstborn among many brothers."
*Hebrews 2:11 "For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one origin. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers..."

Could there be a better big brother than Christ Jesus?

There is much symbolism about Christ and the firstborn that I would still like to study.
-- The passover and death of the firstborn in light of Hebrews 11:28. "By faith [Moses] kept the Passover and sprinkled the blood, so that the Destroyer of the firsborn might not touch them."

-- The birthright in light of many Old Testament stories, including the lives of Jacob (Israel) and Esau, and Cain and Abel. I have not yet looked very in-depth into these things, and may very well be far off base in my thoughts, but I will be spending time studying these things.