It's been a while... I know. I'm back at school again, at least for about 12 more hours. Then it's home again for a couple of days... hehe, and then BACK to school again on Sunday til Wednesday (or maybe Thursday)... so it's gonna be crazy for a bit here. Saroomie says hi to all my blog readers, lol. I think she's the only one who reads it.
So, I have a couple of things to say I guess. It's been a weird day. Last week after I fasted, I felt like I shouldn't say anything about it on my blog, but I couldn't figure out why. So tonight I felt ok talking about some of the things God's shown me.
And one of the things He showed me was to examine my motivation for everything (particularly fasting) closely. Last week I don't know what my deal was. But I didn't guard my mouth. It's hard for me to even think about it, because it makes me mad at myself. I didn't tell a million people, no, not that, but in a not-very-discreet way talked about it with my roommate. Last week was hard. But this week was just as hard.
But this week I can honestly say that God blessed me with the ability to endure it in almost silence. Praise His great name. Thanks to Dan for letting me spill a bit, although I TRIED not to complain or whine, and I probably messed up a few times with Sarah too, but overall I feel better about it this week.
I am so frustrated with my incapacity to be perfect. For "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Rom. 7:14) Ahh, but this relates to Romans 8:18-24; "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for he sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved." I've never tied those two together before.
Hmm... what else did I learn today? I re-learned that John Piper is an amazing author and that y'all need to read "Desiring God." I re-learned that when I play the piano and I'm nervous I screw things up big time. I re-learned thankfulness for the blessing of food tonight at midnight. mmm... and now I'm full and satisfied. In Christ AND physically.
A quick story before I run off to bed... It's nice and cheery, very lighthearted... hehe
My roommate (there, Sarah, now you're famous) and I found out tonight that the guy who lives above us (who we'll just call LL) owns a knife. And he likes to pull this knife on people when he's mad~ particularly on homosexual people. So, considering I don't like making people mad much, and I am not a lesbian (by the very grace of God) I should be able to count my life worth something for at least another few months. Scary thought though, huh? I think I'll just try and avoid that character.
Oh, and like, the entire country has gotten snow in the past two days... and we have sun. What is up? Not even rain?! Nothing wintry or cozy at all except chilling temperatures. As much as I love the ocean, I hate that it moderates out our weather patterns.
Ok, now I'm just sitting here staring blankly at everything around me, so I guess that means I should quit. I have alot more to say, but my brain is 1. crammed full with biology, and 2. still really foggy from my foodless day.