I've been meaning to write here but I haven't because I've been using more of my free time at night to just be with my Jesus. I call Him "my Jesus," but what I have been coming to see more and more is that I am really His Sarah.
I don't even know how to summarize what I am learning and seeing and how I am growing. It's all rather involved and I'm terrible at self-analysis... (but it takes self-analysis to analyze the fact that I'm terrible at it.. hehe, it's a little circular).
But I am learning to... hunger and thirst more and more. To "gaze at the cross" and allow the fact that He chose me to be His before the beginning of time to just seep into my soul, to wash over me and fill me. The very knowledge that He loved me before there was even time, that He had ordained for me *all* the days and moments of my life simply stuns me. That he knows my innermost thoughts, that he searches and knows my heart, and yet, despite all that, STILL longs to draw me to His lap and listen with the tenderest ear to all my trials and pains and sufferings and secrets. He craves relationship with me more than I crave it with Him. Not that He needs me or my relationship with Him... no, He is complete in Himself. But He so loves me. He SO loves ME.
And oh how I ache for the day when I can stand before Him and His glorious throne. But I fear I won't be standing as much as kneeling. Bowing. Lying prostrate before his glorious Presence. How can Someone so Good and Perfect even stand to look at me? But He does. He chose to cover me in a blanket of Christ's perfection. He leads me to His fountain of mercies and Himself takes a rag in hand to gently wash away every blemish and stain, every inch of grime that has gathered in the crevices of my soul. And does He leave me then to go play in the mud again? No, He leads me on to be clothed in the robes of righteousness, robes as pure and white as the beautiful bride's wedding dress.
In a way it's like how parents buy new clothes for their kids and dress them all up and just... make them pretty. Why? Because they love to see their children look good. It brings them satisfaction and joy. Often, the kids can care less how they look, but the parent, they can see the beauty in a freshly scrubbed and clean face and in the sweet smell of newly shampooed hair. God is the same way with His children. "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

These are the undeserved privileges of being the Bride of Christ. And in this I can find contentment.