Grrr... I can definitely tell I'm home when the computer messes up and I lose my blog entry... and retype it all out again... oh well
I am home, yes I am.
Saroomie and I rode the train home last night and it was so fun, I loved feeling independent... but it was oh so sweet to see mom and dad run up to the train when I got off and to be reminded of how much I do love being dependent on them.
And now I don't remember a thing I said on the other entry. Shoot. Haha, wow, and it was only like 5 minutes ago. Oh well, I should go to bed. But I will write just a bit.
Being home reminds me of two things:
First~ how indescribable it will be to truly come Home to be with my Jesus. The blessed peace and rest. Being surrounded with my dear brothers and sisters at all times, with no barriers, no walls, no distance, no time differences. No more tears and no more of this longing for fulfillment that I know will only increase as my life goes on. To be held in my Father's arms. For this I long with a passion.
Second~ how much I wish life would hurry and move along. I want so badly to be a wife and mother. Just seeing my mom makes me pray that "I will be as faithful as she has been and that the Lord will bless me for my faithfulness as much as He has for hers." Family is so important to me. It plays such a role in a child's life. The child-parent relationship is so unique and such a good demonstration of God's love for us. Parents are to be much more than people who feed and clothe and discipline; they are to DISCIPLE and love and befriend and illustrate the love of God and educate their children in all His ways. I have been so blessed with parents who know and understand this, and I pray with all my might that someday I might be that to my children. Assuming God grants me some.
And yet I am here finding joy in such blessed singleness. I know there is a reason that I have never had a relationship: I am not ready. I don't mean this in terms of how the world would see it, because in all outward appearances I am ready. No, I mean as God hasn't brought a man to pursue me, I must be drawn to the conclusion that I am not ready in His eyes. I must continue to learn to fall so deeply in love with my Savior that nothing can ever shake that love. Oh how I love this Protector of my heart. He has guarded me from so much heartache and given me opportunities to be pursued by Him that other people haven't had. All through high school when other girls were wrapped up in meaningless relationships, God was showing me how to let myself be drawn near to His heart and to learn how to live the life of a woman after His heart.

Life never has so much joy and vibrance as when it is viewed through the eyes of eternity. I must make it my aim to see the Lord's "Bigger Picture more often. It brings such comfort and peace to my heart.